Oh My God Im Back Again Gif
Guys.
I'm still hither!! 🙋♀️ I apologize for my month-long disappearance from the newsletter. It's been a very decorated time at my actual job, a large projection has kicked off, and nosotros're barreling into year-finish at warp speed. Have you felt this way too? Equally we've come out of the pandemic this twelvemonth, it feels like the passage of time has accelerated insanely.
Fun fact, 'warp speed' is a sci-fi reference to the speed of a propulsion arrangement (warp drive) that enables you to travel through infinite faster than lightspeed… aka, v. fast. As I typed out 'warp speed', I was curious as to the origin of that phrase, so I googled it so you don't have to. THAT is the quality programming yous subscribe to this newsletter for, I assume.
So yep, it's been very busy, and I experience similar I've completely fallen off the weekly newsletter horse or whatever the figure of spoken language is. Simply I'll confess, the chief reason I oasis't written has little to do with the literal number of hours I've spent working. My biggest hurdle has been psychological.
As you may know, and as you may likewise be, I'm a reformed Type-A lady, and recovering perfectionist. I practise not hateful that in the twee, "What'southward your greatest weakness?" "Teehee, I'm besides perfect" interview response kind of way. I mean that in the detrimental, cocky-sabotaging kind of way:
I missed one calendar week of writing the newsletter, and a spiral of negative self-talk erupted:
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"I literally simply told people in a goal setting post (link) that I was recommitting to writing weekly.. I'one thousand publicly failing!!"
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"I can't maybe rest being decorated at piece of work and side projects, when one gets busy, I totally let the other one go"
And then I missed some other week, and the perfectionist (or "all or cypher") mindset kicked in:
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"I missed two weeks. I've never missed two weeks. I'one thousand not very good at this."
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"This was supposed to be a weekly newsletter, and now information technology'south a monthly? A quarterly? AN Annual REPORT?"
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"OK, just write something and share it. But I oasis't shared something in so long, people will look something great/fantabulous.. that sounds daunting."
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"Should you even bother? Would readers really intendance if you didn't write over again? Should yous take this as a sign that this merely isn't your jam?"
Can you lot chronicle? The ALL or NOTHING thinking - I either write something consistently every week (ALL), or I should throw in the towel (NOTHING). I am either crushing it (ALL), or a lazy, failing blob (Nix).
How oftentimes does this happen with you and your broader goals? Fitness, for example: Yous swallow "perfectly" (no carbs, no booze, working out multiple times a calendar week), and a single "slip-upward" (a single beer) causes you to go down a rabbit hole of abandon - if it's not perfect, why bother.
Black and white thinking . There is no happy medium, but either 1) perfectly checking things off the practice-list, or ii) eternal damnation.
Eek.
It turns out, black and white thinking is actually a cognitive distortion , which is divers in psychology as "habitual ways of thinking that are often inaccurate and negatively biased."
Bad news: Black and white thinking is actually one of many cognitive distortions (I include a link to a list of them at the stop of the newsletter)
Great news: Cognitive distortions are not based on facts or reality!
It's human nature to fall into these thinking patterns from time to time. Thought patterns help us make sense of the globe, help usa make decisions and in some ways go along us safe. If nosotros spend too much fourth dimension stuck in these distortions and accepting them every bit fact, however, our mental health takes a huge hit.
In this case - my black and white thinking (also known as "All-or-nothing thinking" or "Polarized" thinking) is a distortion that leads to extremely unrealistic standards for myself, and others. Research shows that it tin can negative touch on relationships and motivation, and empirically, I tin tell you the more I worried nigh missing a week or 2 of writing, the less I wanted to start again. It'south a bit of a consummate mindf*ck for me, considering I thought that my strict self-talk would promote productivity, simply black and white thinking actually sets you up for failure. Not to mention, information technology makes limits the power to navigate complexity and dash (which… the world certainly needs more of.)
And so how do we fix these distortions?
A big (important!) first step is to only place them. ✔ Done. Publicly.
The second is to try different assumptions on for size, and relax the use of concepts like 'always' and 'never'.. and explore the connotations you agree effectually those concepts.
And so instead of "I e'er write a newsletter on Wednesdays of every week and have never missed a week fifty-fifty when busy with other things."… "I try to write a newsletter with some frequency.. life gets in the fashion sometimes!"
Another stride is to examine the evidence . I stopped writing for a few weeks. Is my life over? Have I fallen into financial ruin? Has anybody unsubscribed? Will anyone even open the next i?
(Answers: no. no. no. nosotros shall see)
So yes. I am here. I am live. I am non destitute. And here is a short, imperfect return to the newsletter this week. HI! I'm still here, still interested in exploring productivity, career, motivation and mindset with you! Allow's practise this together.
In improver to the mindset piece of work and exploring cognitive distortions, a few small tactics too helped milk shake me out of that "perfection paralysis" feeling:
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Remember your "why"
Um this is a HOBBY, that first and foremost is meant to be amusing and enjoyable to write. Nowhere in my 'why' is there a prescribed cadence, format or expectation. This has also been fun for me upwardly til now, and information technology will be fun again going forward, missing a few weeks isn't a steady decline into losing interest in this little outlet for me!
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Friendly call back that "no one cares"
People recollect about yous mode less than you remember they do. I'm sure a skillful chunk of people that read this oasis't even noticed the absence of the newsletter. Even if they have, I'1000 pretty sure no i has aggressively judged me for not writing it (and certainly no one on earth is capable of aggressively judging me as harshly also, me!)
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Let go of rules/construction
Yous'll notation this kickoff newsletter back is brusque, a complete ramble, and only tangentially relates it to career/work. It doesn't draw from whatsoever external conversations. There are no sections. I didn't post a series of things on Instagram beginning. Removing all the 'shoulds' in my mind definitely made writing less daunting.
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Take small jumpstarting actions… that you actually relish doing (this is the critical part).
You know when y'all've fallen off the workout bandwagon, and information technology seems like a herculean effort to restart, and the advice out there is similar, "Have a baby step to go started… simply go for a quick run!"
"just" go for a run. whut. While that might be a jumpstarting action, a lot of people hate running, and it's a big-ass shock to the organization to just forcefulness yourself outdoors and start bounce-plodding along. Cull something you actually like.
In my example, actually writing a full newsletter is daunting.. but drafting cheesy subject area lines? Dearest Information technology. So I took the tiny step of just riffing on a bunch of topics and subject lines, to see what resonated with me and what would jumped out at me equally inspiring topics to write on.
In the fitness analogy, my pocket-size enjoyable jumpstarting action is sometimes ownership workout wearing apparel online. Does it burn calories? No. Is it fun and does it aid make my mindset around working out a bit more positive? Heck yes.
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Get inspired by getting off my phone
This i seems a bit obvious- we know endless scrolling and rampage-watching anything is bad for productivity. More chiefly though, it's bad for creativity.
It was difficult to get back on rail writing this newsletter because I was defective inspiration. I first blamed being busy at work, but as I put off week later week of writing and started getting broken-hearted, I besides did a bit of a time inspect. Yeah, I was decorated at work, but I wasn't working literally every single minute of the day. I didn't have a ton of dedicated fourth dimension to write, true, just certainly I had fifteen minute blocks to open up Substack and just jot a few things down (past the manner, that's how I tend to write, random spurts of thoughts throughout the week).
The problem was, in the moments I wasn't working, I was consuming content (no regrets, Squid Game you lot were bang-up, and I have done the bulk of Mon-Wednesday NYT Crosswords going back to like, 2017). Days were filled with producing (churning out work), and so consuming, and I gave myself no quiet time.
I went on a scattering of xxx minute walks during the calendar week with no headphones and establish it and so helpful. I wasn't necessarily struck downwards by inspiration like a lightning bolt, simply it helped me procedure my thoughts, reflect on things, connect the dots from conversations I've had, and call up of random funny (well, funny to me) ridiculous things to intersperse into the newsletter.
I exit you with a few links to information on cognitive distortions, and how they become in our manner… and as well with this topical throwback Backstreet'southward Back reference that explains this week's subject line.
They don't brand music videos like this anymore. (Accept I ever sounded more elder millennial?)
Resources/Links:
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Cognitive Distortions (there are many, non merely all-or-nix thinking) (Healthline)
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Maybe more importantly, How to Terminate Cognitive Distortions ( Psych Central )
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Cool Ladies doing Cool Things: (for consistency'due south sake, am including i this calendar week!) Maya Rupert is a political strategist, writer, and advocate and the campaign managing director for Julian Castro. She writes in Teen Vogue (beloved that they are promoting this kind of content), about having more women of colour involved in campaigns, in visionary/strategic roles, not but administrative. (She has a groovy story nearly instinctively taking notes for the group at a meeting, and being told to put the sharpie down because she should be sharing her thoughts, non transcribing everyone else'due south) (Teen Vogue)
Source: https://thetowoolist.substack.com/p/oh-my-god-were-im-back-again
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